Chore Cards

In the past year or so, we have started giving the kids an allowance, which we tied to their chores. They have "morning chores" and "day chores." Every morning, all three kids must make their beds, clean their rooms, and put away any of their own folded laundry. During the day, Hannah feeds one of the bearded dragons, Ben feeds the cat, and Becca sets the table and organizes the shoes on the shelves by the back door. Hannah and Ben also alternate washing the dishes from breakfast and lunch and sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor. I keep a weekly calendar listing their chores on a white board, which hangs on the door leading to our basement. At the end of each week, the kids receive their allowance. For each day that they complete all of their chores, they earn $0.25, and they get an extra $0.25 bonus if they do their chores every day that week.

This system has worked well, with just one drawback - I did not have an adequate method for keeping track of which days they did their chores. At first, I tried making them put a check mark next to each chore on the white board, but they often forgot and then argued about each quarter they thought they should have earned. I also tried giving them their allowance each evening, but I prefer to distribute it weekly. Finally, one night, I had a sudden inspiration.

Using Photoshop, I created punch cards, modeled after time cards a person might use at work. The middle of each card has the child's name, a place for me to write the date, and the terms for redeeming the card for their allowance. Then, along each side of the card, I put black dots the size of a hole punch, with the days of the week listed next to them - one side for morning chores and one side for day chores.

Each day, the kids use a hole punch to punch out the dots for that day when they complete their chores. At the end of the week, the kids turn in their chore cards in exchange for their allowance. So far this system works quite well. The kids have fun punching the holes, so they are not as likely to forget, and they have a visible reminder of what they must do each day. Plus, I have no more haggling over how much money they should receive. I love ideas that make our daily duties easier (and more fun)!

Taming the Dragons

We unexpectedly bought a new bearded dragon last week. Actually, we purchased a new, larger cage with a nice stand, and the young bearded dragon came with it. He is a pretty little beardie, with touches of orange around his ears and down his back. At first, I wanted to name the new little guy "Eustace" after the boy who becomes a dragon in C.S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. However, this little beardie has proved to be a not-very-tame dragon! After much debate and discussion, we finally agreed to name him "Norbert" after the baby dragon Hagrid hatches in the Harry Potter series. As Hagrid oohs and ahs over the baby dragon in the movie, the little dragon sneezes and sets Hagrid's beard on fire. We all decided that this name fit his character much better!

Since then, Josh has been valiantly attempting to tame the little dragon, while he is still an adolescent. He picks Norbert up and holds him almost every day, and we feed him Phoenix Worms and collard greens by hand. We try not to frighten him, but he is still adapting to his new home. When Josh holds him, he puffs out his beard and turns very dark, and he gapes at Josh, trying to prove that he is boss. If Josh is not careful, Norbert gets a nice, hard nip in there, too. Through all of this, he was never so fierce as when he noticed Trogdor, our old, mellow bearded dragon meandering past his cage one afternoon.

 

What a display of dominance he put on! His beard was jet black as he puffed it out and glared at Trogdor, who does not care one bit about the tiny, ferocious new dragon.

At the same time, we have been attempting to tame our three little dragon-children, as well. Now, obviously, our kids are much sweeter than Norbert, and we love them quite a bit more, too! But, recently, their dispositions have been somewhat dragonish, especially when they do not get their own way. Ultimately, we try to address the heart issues behind their misbehavior and bad attitudes so that they will eventually desire what is right. However, in the meantime, we have had to adopt our own dragon-taming techniques to deal with day-to-day problems.

First, as a method of positive reinforcement, we began using a system of "Daddy Dollars." I recently learned about Daddy Dollars from a friend, so I googled it and found some wonderful information, including a link to a site where I could print my own dollars with my husband's face on them!

The kids earn up to three Daddy Dollars each day by behaving well during school time and at Bible time in the evenings. They can also earn Daddy Dollars by doing extra jobs to help me out. When they save up enough Daddy Dollars, they can use them in the Mommy Mart, purchasing items such as 15 minutes of video games on the cell phone, balloon animals (made by me!), and back scratches. So far, the system works fairly well, though we are still smoothing out some of the details.

In addition to this, we have implemented a more formal chore schedule for the kids. Every day, they must make their beds, clean their rooms, and pick up the toys at the end of the day. Also, each child has an individual job to accomplish each day. Hannah washes breakfast and lunch dishes, Ben feeds the cats and sweeps the kitchen, and Becca sets the table for dinner. They mark off their chores on our calendar, and on Saturday, we pay them one quarter for each day they accomplished all of their chores, plus a bonus quarter if they did their chores every day. So, they can earn up to $2.00 each week. For now at least, the kids enjoy having chores and earning an allowance, and I appreciate having some help with daily jobs while also teaching them responsibility.

However, with this allowance, we have also instituted fines for talking back. Perhaps because of their age or because we have not been consistent enough with discipline, our kids have developed the bad habit of talking back every time they do not get their way. Their behavior reminds me of little Norbert nipping at our fingers whenever we approach him. Anyway, now, whenever the kids talk back or use inappropriate words, they have to deposit a quarter in my "I'm-a-rude-piggy bank." I have accumulated quite a collection of quarters - enough to fund allowances for a long time - and the kids are gradually learning to rein in their tongues.

Finally, I adopted something I once read on an ADHD website to address poor table manners. At each meal, we light a candle. That candle remains lit until someone uses poor table manners, and then we have to blow it out. Once the candle melts completely, we take a family trip to Chuck E Cheeses as a reward. Obviously, the candle burns down more quickly the longer it burns, so the kids have incentive to watch their table manners very carefully and even nicely remind each other without me having to nag and punish. This has been very successful so far, especially when we remember to light it and blow it out consistently...

Hopefully, consistent, firm, loving discipline will tame all of the dragons in our lives, from the fierce little bearded dragon, to the dragonish attitudes and behaviors of the kids. In the long run, however, we hope that the dragon will learn to enjoy interaction and not merely tolerate us, and that our kids will internalize good choices and responsibility without needing constant rewards and punishments. Overall, though, I appreciate having a plan, a consistent approach to deal with the everyday difficulties and to make our home a more pleasant place to live - for both people and pets!

Learning Life Skills

I would like to take credit for this bit of learning, and I typically do this job, but Josh gets credit for passing the skill on to our kids. Too often, I avoid allowing the kids to help with chores, because I can do them better or more quickly. Unfortunately, as a result, I ultimately end up doing everything without help.

Last Monday, I went to a day-long training seminar to help me with my business. While I was gone, Josh tackled the too-large mound of laundry that I had been ignoring for weeks. In fact, he washed and folded every piece of dirty laundry he could find in the house! And he did this in between shuttling kids to and from school and soccer as well. I could not believe everything he accomplished! Anyway, when I asked the kids how Daddy managed to do all of the laundry on such a crazy day, Ben told me that he and Becca had helped him fold the laundry. I smiled knowingly, imagining that their "help" probably kept them from fighting and getting into trouble, but likely did not make the work go more quickly.

The next evening, Josh brought a load of towels up from the dryer and placed them on the couch in the living room. He and I were talking in the dining room, when I looked into the other room and saw this:

While we had been discussing dinner, Becca had folded nearly all of the towels, and she did a fairly good job, too! She noticed the shocked look on my face and began grinning and pointing at her work. "It's amazing," she said, over and over again.

I asked her to show me how she folded them, and she happily gave me a demonstration.

After laying the towel out flat on the floor, she folded the sides over and lined them up nicely.

I never imagined that my three year old would be capable of folding towels. Yet, my husband recognized an opportunity to pass on an important life skill. I have been pondering this for a week now, and I wonder what other jobs the kids could learn to accomplish if I gave them the chance. They already pick up their toys and clear their dishes from the table, but I bet they could do so much more! When we begin homeschooling full-time next year, I plan to integrate chores into our daily schedule - making beds, straightening their rooms, and organizing their school work and supplies. But, now I may include them in my household tasks, too, like laundry, mopping, dishes, and dusting. If we make a game out of it, they may even find it fun! And eventually, I will appreciate the help from kids who have already learned the importance of working together as a family.