Aggression Cookies

"Is there anything for dessert?" Josh asked me over the raucous noises emanating from our living room.

"I don't think so," I replied, glancing into the room to make sure that the kids were screaming in play, and not in pain. Josh shrugged. "You could make cookies," he said.

"Mmmmm... cookies," I thought, "and I have the perfect recipe for a night like tonight."

I dug through my recipe box and pulled out the card labeled "Aggression Cookies" (recipe at end of post). I cut up the butter into a large bowl and measured the dry ingredients into three separate containers. Then, I grabbed a glass and some butter, and spooned a small amount of sugar into a flat dish. Glancing out the window, I noticed the evening sunshine and remembered how warm the temperature felt earlier in the day. "Perfect," I thought, placing everything on top of a cookie sheet and grabbing my camera, "We'll do this outside."
"C'mon, guys," I called to the kids as I made my way to the front door. "Ben, get the door for me. Everyone out on the porch!" The kids' eyes lit up at the thought of doing something outdoors, and they scrambled out the door.

I placed the bowl on the porch and let each kid dump a container with dry ingredients into the bowl. Then, I pushed their sleeves up and told them to squish all of the ingredients together with their hands. Hesitantly at first, and then with delightful abandon, they squished and mashed until the dough began to stick together quite a bit.
Next, I formed the dough into tiny balls and arranged them on the cookie sheet. I only got about a dozen cookies from this recipe.
Taking the glass, I rubbed a small amount of butter on the bottom, dipped it in the sugar, and used it to flatten the cookies on the pan.
While I worked, the kids began to clean themselves up a bit, and by "clean", I do not mean that they diligently washed the sticky cookie dough off of their little hands and faces. No, they cleaned themselves in quite the same way that good little kittens would have cleaned themselves... with their tongues! Needless to say, this was only mildly effective, and I sent Hannah inside to get the box of baby wipes for at least a slightly more sanitary clean-up job.

Once we had contained the mess a bit, I carried the cookies inside to bake. "I want cookie!" Becca yelled. "How long until they are finished?" Hannah chimed in. When I replied that they needed to cook for ten minutes, Ben wailed, "Ten minutes!!! That's a really long time!"
After ten minutes, the timer beeped and I removed the cookies to cool. An extremely long (according to Ben) two minutes later, the kids happily munched on their completed cookies. "Mission accomplished," I thought to myself, "Three happy kids, a yummy dessert, and a fun activity that filled that wild hour between dinner and bedtime."
"Aggression Cookies"

1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup oats
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup flour
1-2 tsp sugar, set aside

Preheat oven to 350. Place all ingredients in a large bowl. Mash, knead, or squeeze dough to combine ingredients. The more the kids mash the dough, the better the cookies will taste. Form into balls and place on ungreased cookie sheet. Butter bottom of glass, dip in sugar, and flatten cookies. Bake 10 minutes.